"Adio" to Dubrovnik A tale of two refugees Full Monty Parlor Games Share My Fire Car - the relationship-saving device Going Straight West A year to expirience, a lifetime to understand Meeting Vuk Cultural insensitivity Sex in Serbia Buvljak experience What's news in Yugoslavia? part II What's news in Yugoslavia? Trust issues: Yugoslav Banks Hosting, Serbian style Flat-hunting Staying legally in Yugoslavia Welcome to Belgrade Border crossings The Paper Chase: Single - entry visas

No, he wasn't robbed or cheated by money changers. He made the mistake of failing to declare the money at customs when he crossed the border.

The reason?

Nobody asked him to. When he crossed the border, he also failed to notice a faded sign placed high above him in English and French (for those people who are lucky enough to read those languages)informing that foreigners must declare money over the value of 1,000 marks.

The point of this story is: know the rules ahead of time. Don't wait for anybody to tell you about these rules until, perhaps, it's too late.

What happened to the hapless foreigner's money, you may ask? It disappeared into the bureaucratic ether at the Belgrade airport. The only reassurance the journalist received was that he could reclaim it after writing an appeal to the Yugoslav Embassy in the UK after that, the Federal Currency Inspectorate would have to decide how much to return, after subtracting a fine for his "attempt" to smuggle money out of the country.

Anyone who has had experience with customs bureaucracy would expect the process to work efficiently but when the journalist's Serbian colleague inquired into the case, he was told that it might take up to two years to return the money.

Two years? By that time, well-behaved European countries will be unified by a common currency and the mark will most certainly be a thing of the past, a keepsake for future generations, perhaps.

I doubt those marks will be collecting any interest during their tenure in Yugoslavia, but one thing's for sure, they will not be collecting dust as they circulate through the Yugoslav economy up to the next century. Perhaps the journalist will be unknowingly investing in a few projects such as the Yugo superhighway (the asphalt one, not the digital one).

Come to think of it, perhaps Yugoslavs could place a booth next to the customs office where confiscated funds can be invested into some special mutual funds. How else, after all, can Yugoslavia get foreigners to invest?

Back to the original problem. How can the process of getting the money back take a full 24 months?

In a country where it took almost 100 days before opposition party members were allowed to take over their elected posts in city municipalities, one should generally expect things here to be done -how shall I put it?- in their own time.

The border is no exception.

Anyone who has crossed any border knows that life there goes on about a third of the speed as in the rest of the country. Inside the offices of Serbia's border checkpoint, furnished only by a small antique space heater or a broken fan, papers stack up on the dusty shelves and cups of Turkish coffee aren't finished until early afternoon. In other words, there are plenty of reasons why completing all the paperwork necessary to reimburse the money could fall by the wayside: the mesmerizing effect of the great expanse of the desolate Vojvodina plains or maybe the weighted feeling left after eating a hefty slice of meat pastry....

When you approach the border, the tempo of passport inspection is relatively standard. The border guards like to thumb through foreign passports methodically, scouring each stamp, especially ones issued from Yugoslavia's neighbors. Croatian visas are eyed with particular scrutiny and you can expect the guard to ask about your purpose of traveling to Croatia ("tourism") with a slightly envious look in his eye.

Next line, customs. Wait behind the Mercedes sedan with the Swiss licenseplates. Watch the owner pack and unpack its contents with a pleading look in his or her eyes.

Serbs traveling in and out of their own country have it tough. The main complaint is exit tax, which is about 100 DM per car. I suppose this tax was brought about to collect money on smugglers who made several trips a day in and out of the country. But no matter if you exit once a day or once a year, you're treated like a smuggler. Prices in Yugoslavia are unrealistic and salaries are low so, many Serbs prefer to do their shopping outside Yugoslavia. Of course, some people still smuggle goods in to sell cheaper on the open markets. Whatever the case, customs officers expect you to bring in a lot of stuff and most of the time, you pay them for the privilege.

Now it's your turn. One computer, okay. Three computers? Those will be jotted down in your passport. Companies bringing in their own equipment will have to declare those. Generally, the process is no different than in other countries.

The problem comes when you cross the border with a Serb since Yugo customs officers are liable to think the Serb is using you to help them bring taxable items in. To prepare for the ordeal, my Serb host driving me and my stuff through the border stopped outside of Roszke, Hungary to change into a dress shirt and smooth down his hair, maybe uttering a few prayers now that I come to think of it. When we arrived at the border in a red Yugo packed to its capacity with clothes, books, stereo and computer equipment, I had the appearance of moving, not of smuggling. Still, I had to take out every single item for inspection. After telling the young guard all the details of my move from Budapest to Belgrade, my Serb host pointed out that the electronics were for personal use: the box my printer was being transported in had been broken open on a number of occasions and my stereo had accumulated dust. I didn't have a bottle of Jim Beam or some Marlboros at my disposal and I was in no mood to pay any fines.

But the customs officer waved us through, wishing me luck in Yugoslavia and the Serb, breathing a sigh of relief, crossed himself a few times.

by Jennifer C. Brown    

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Your previous talk back on the subject above:
serb border x-ing - Dragan Ivanovic
Border crossings - Charlie Nikolic
JENNIFER-STUPID COW! - Jolly Joker
border crossing - Kristina Jovanovic
The US travel ban... - Otis Elmwood